Things Change ~ Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Peter that night thought about Cindy and how he felt when he first walked into the café, Cindy made him feel special like he was a person who meant something and not a fat person who should hide away, he thought about the seats in the cubicles and how romantic it would have been to be in one with Cindy he couldn’t help it he liked her a lot, he resolved that each day he would work at losing weight, he wasn’t sure how but something Cindy said spurred him on ‘if I could go one whole month without dessert I would shout myself to a new pair of shoes or a dress’ of course he wouldn’t buy a pair of shoes or a dress but he could buy something else.

He thought about what he would like to ‘treat’ himself to a pair of jeans he thought, it had been years since he had worn a pair but as he looked at himself in the mirror he knew that it would be a long time before he would be able to do that.
So he sat and thought about the things that he probably shouldn’t eat and the things that he should or could do for exercise, Cindy had given herself a month so he picked one food item that he would eliminate and one exercise thing to do every-day for the next month and if he achieved it he would buy himself a new shirt.

At two o’clock in the morning he felt pleased with himself and looked forward to the new day and the excitement of the journey he was about to begin.

The new morning he woke still excited and a little apprehensive whether he could do it or not, one day at a time he reminded himself, so he made breakfast, washed his dishes and mopped his kitchen floor he looked at the towel on the lounge-room floor where he decided that he would do the dreaded floor exercises that Cindy made him do everytime she was here. If there was anything he wanted it was to do the floor exercises well so that he didn’t look like a floundering fat fish.

He sat at the kitchen table looking at the towel that lay on the floor and he knew that if he just did it when he first put the towel down it would have been done by now and he wondered why he was so reluctant to start, it wasn’t as if he would be embarrassed there was no-one around to see him, surely now would be the perfect time to do it, while no-one was around.

After another ten minutes he gathered the determination to just do it, after fifteen sweaty minutes he pulled himself off the floor, fifteen minutes he thought to himself he should be able to do it quicker, he thought about trying again in the afternoon perhaps he could time himself he had an alarm on his phone that would be able to time him. Again he was looking forward to trying, but now he was going to have a shower and wash the sweaty film from him.

The following three days he continued his exercises on the floor in the morning and in the afternoon, he had got his time down to fourteen minutes and was proud that he had taken some time off his floor exercises. Today he was excited, Cindy was coming over and he decided to forgo his morning exercises and work off some of his renewed energy by wiping down the cabinets that had accumulated dust and grime over the years. Peter was surprised that he had allowed it to get out of hand.

She pulled up in front and gathered her bags to take them inside when she looked up she saw Peter at the door he was coming out to gather her bags.

She smiled as he took the bags from her and she looked at him, he looked different somehow, he had never come outside to help her with her bags before, was it confidence that she saw in him. She got the mat out and she thought about changing his routine she knew how much he hated working on the mat but the mat was a vital part of strengthening his core.

As she walked inside she looked around thinking it looked different but everything was in place and she resolved that it must have been her imagination.

After going through Peter’s session she was surprised to see Peter with enthusiasm.
“You’re all perky today, you’ve done the routine with five minutes to spare, congratulations.”

He wiped the sweat from his brow. “Yeah I feel good, the best I’ve felt for a long time.”

She smiled “That’s good. I had a nice time the other night.”

He took a glug of water from a glass and wiped his mouth on his hand towel. “Yeah me too, so since we’ve finished five minutes earlier what do we do with the extra time.”

“Well as you did so well today I say cool down and enjoy.” She looked at him and thought she saw that he would have liked to do more, which she found odd because he was usually glad when the session was finished. “Why don’t we do some more stretches?”

“That would be good.” He smiled

After they finished the stretches she packed up her things to leave.
“Well Peter I’ll see you on our next session Wednesday.”

Peter gave Cindy a great big smile “Look forward to it”

As Cindy started up her engine she mused over the entire session with Peter, something was different and she couldn’t put her finger on it.

Over the following weeks Peter continued to work out on his floor exercises and stayed away from potato chips which were his afternoon and evening treat, each Wednesday Cindy would pick him up and together they would go to the café where they both enjoyed good food, good service and a decent band that played decent music.
Peter was particularly impressed when it came up to his four weeks, one whole month of extra exercise and no potato chips.


Staring at the calendar where the circle indicated that he had done one whole month he placed a big black cross over the circle with the texta in his hand as he did every day, he smiled at his achievement.

Now, for his reward. He showered, shaved and rang for a taxi to take him to the nearest shopping centre where he purchased a new shirt and a new pair of track-pants, he looked at the tailored pants and thought about trying them on. He looked at his purchases and thought that the tailored pants would be his next reward. Pleased with himself he paid for his purchases and went back home.

Peter was surprised that he felt as good as he did, he looked at the towel that lay on the floor as a solitary reminder of the hard work he had put in everyday, it wasn’t easy, once it was done he was glad he did the exercise but getting there was the majority of his battle.

Looking back at the calendar he made another circle on it and thought about his next exercise that he would tackle, he thought about walking but it scared him, he looked at the walking frame and thought that he had to at least give it a go. He thought about how far he would go and where, he didn’t want to go when the kids were about their taunts would crush his ego that had begun to repair.

Looking out the window he watched the sun set over his street and knew that the kids would not be around he slipped on his lace-less sneakers and set off out the door, he put the timer on his watch five minutes he thought at least for a start, two and a half minutes he set the watch for and set off down the path leading away from his door, as the timer went off he was surprised that his time was up and headed back home.

As he walked in the door he felt good, he had a great day, he had reached the one month mark, bought a new shirt and track pants and had walked for five minutes without his frame.

The following week when Cindy came to pick Peter up for their weekly outing she noted his new attire.

“Very nice” she commented gesturing toward his new clothes

“You like it?”

“I do. When did you get this?” she said as she touched the sleeve of his shirt.

“Last week it was a reward.”

She smiled at him “A reward for what?”

“Well I remembered what you said that first night about rewarding yourself for not eating dessert, so I thought that I would do the same and this is my reward.”

“Oh congratulations Peter that’s wonderful I’m proud of you. You know the last couple of weeks I have seen a definite improvement in your workout and whatever you have been doing is working well”

“Those damn floor exercises you make me do, I do them every day and I cut out my potato chips”

“You must feel really good”

“I do”

She turned the car engine over “Well lets go celebrate and my reward to you for taking the initiative my shout.”

Peter blushed “Cindy I couldn’t possibly allow you to pay, what say at the end of the night I get a good night kiss on the cheek.”

Cindy smiled and held out her hand for Peter to shake “Deal.”

Their night together consisted again of good food, good service and a nice healthy dose of good music and wonderful company. The end of the night was drawing to a close and Peter felt excited he was going to get a kiss from Cindy, ridiculous he knew that he was getting excited about a kiss on the cheek but anything remotely close to intimacy he welcomed it had been so long since he had been with a woman.
He sat in the car and performed his weekly line “Would you like to come in for a coffee?”

She smiled at him, he was so sweet she thought, she put her hand on his that sat on his knee and gave his hand a squeeze. “You are wonderful man Peter, I believe I owe you a good night kiss.”

Peter blushed and gave a childish chuckle.

She leant over and kissed him on the cheek “Good night Peter, thank you for a lovely night.”

Peter chuckled again and wished her a good night as he got out of the car. He thought about his next day, he had an appointment at the doctors which he dreaded, more humiliation from the doctor.

Hopefully a new chapter tomorrow


til next time


Happy Reading


Valissa

Things Change ~ Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As he walked into the café he felt as if all eyes were on him but they weren’t but his imagination and senses fooled him into thinking they were. The smell of the café was a mixture of rich coffee and delicious aroma of good food steaming off of plates, his mouth began to water, the band’s equipment was set up in the corner of the café but they were yet to play, ambient music of their latest self-recorded album played from speakers within the café.

Cindy found a seat that had a reserved sign placed on it and she sat down, he looked around and was instantly glad that she had not chosen the cubicle seats as he simply would not have been able to fit, he sat and commented on how nice the place was.

“I’ve been coming here for close to a year now, I’ve been following the band for close to two, a friend of my sister knows the drummer and I like their music. The café is really nice and they have good food and not overly pricey which is always a bonus.”

A petite redhead came to the table placed a bottle of water in the middle of the table and gave them each a menu that had been tucked under her arm and began to pour water from the bottle into the glasses as she spoke.

“Hey Cindy, how are you today?”

“I’m good thanks Clarisa. Clarisa this is a friend of mine Peter, Peter this is Clarisa one of the finest waitresses I’ve ever had the pleasure of.”

“Stop it, you’re making me blush, hey before I forget to tell you the specials today are seafood linguine and risotto stuffed quail with dessert being a death by chocolate cake with chocolate cream.”

“Mmmm sounds good I may have to treat myself.”

“You always say that but you never do.”

“You got me there.”

“We’ll look at the menu, thanks Clarissa”

Peter looked at her “You don’t treat yourself?”

Cindy smiled “Oh I do, just not with dessert. I always say that just to make Clarissa feel good that she has at least told me about the dessert. I made a pact a long time ago with myself that if I could go one whole month without dessert I would shout myself to a new pair of shoes or a dress and I guess I still do that.”

“But you could have dessert.”

She half smiled at Peter and she wondered how much she could tell him about her past, could she tell him that she was afraid to eat dessert, she knew it was silly but it was a demon that she had fought a long time ago and she knew that the demon was there and that it was easier to not tempt it. She had been strong this long, she wasn’t about to quiver.

“Yes I suppose I could, but I would rather treat myself with other things than food, I remember someone once telling me ‘no food is as good as feeling thin’ and I have always stuck by that.”

Peter was puzzled that she would remember such things she was pretty and skinny and wouldn’t need to watch her weight “But you don’t have any need to remember being thin.”

Cindy shifted uncomfortably in her chair she always felt uncomfortable when someone spoke about her weight, how thin she was, how fat she was, why was the world so obsessed with eating and being fat or being thin, why couldn’t people accept people for who they were. But she knew most people obsessed about food and weight, heavens she should know, she did it, wasn’t that why she got into what she did, to help people, to help herself.

Clarissa came back to the table with order pad and pencil in hand “So what will you guys have.”

Cindy looked at Peter

“You go first.” he said, he wanted to see what she ordered.

“Prawn cocktail and a Mediterranean salad”
Peter looked at the menu wanting the beer battered fish and beer battered wedges “Warm beef salad”

“Do you want that with chips or warm potato with a Chantilly sauce
Umm I’ll have ch…”
Cindy laid a hand on his “Oh Peter try the potato with the sauce its good”

“It is good” Clarissa reiterated

Peter looked down at Cindy’s hand that lingered on his, it seemed so small and petite compared to his large fat hand. “Oh ok well I guess I’ll have that then.”

“Great did you want any drinks?”

“I’ll just stick with water.” Cindy said as she pulled her hand away and began folding the napkin that was in front of her

“I’m good with the water” although he would prefer a beer he thought to himself
As Clarissa left Peter asked the question “So what the hell is Chantilly sauce it sounds fruity.”

Cindy laughed “You’ll like it, it’s a cream based sauce with mustard and vinegar it will go well with your beef salad.”

“So would have the chips.” He joked

The band began and their meal was delivered, Peter was impressed with both and before long the night was drawing to a close and he was wishing that he had more time that he could spend with Cindy, they had a great night and he did indeed like the band and even bought one of their cd’s, he bought it more so that he could play it again and remember the lovely night he had.

She pulled up in front of his house and he suddenly felt nervous he wasn’t sure what the protocol was did he ask her in for a coffee, did he just say thank you, did he give her a kiss, he wanted to.

“Did you want to come in for a coffee or something?”

She smiled slightly, tilted her head and shrugged a little “I would love to but I have an early start in the morning.” She paused as she watched the light in him dull “Would you come again with me next week?”

He smiled and brightened “That would be nice, I had a great time tonight, thank you for asking me.” He paused and looked at her, scared to ask what he wanted to ask “Do you mind if I give you a goodnight thank you kiss on the cheek.”

She laughed and blushed “That would be nice.”

He leaned over and kissed her cheek, she patted his hand “Thank you Peter I had a lovely time tonight, I’ll see you next session.”

“Yes, I’ll see you then.”

He got out and waved her off as she drove away, he almost skipped to his front door. As he entered the door and locked it behind him he smiled, he knew that tonight was the beginning of good things to come.

til next time
Happy Reading

Valissa

Things Change ~ Chapter 2

Chapter 2

As she drove to her next client she felt the warm buzz inside her, she always felt good when she made a client feel good about themselves but something was different, of course she had a soft spot for Peter.
The next few hours she busied over her clients and tried to not think of Peter concentrating on her clients.

After shutting the door Peter decided that if he was going out he was having a shower and a shave and would have to find his nicest clothes, he knew that was going to be his biggest problem. What would he wear, he didn’t have any nice clothes he never went anywhere, ‘what you’re wearing now would be fine’
It would have to do, he had nothing else, of course he would wash them as soon as he got out of the shower.

As he waited for his clothes to dry in the dryer he decided that he would do some cleaning up, some dusting, and he tried to recall the last time he did, impossible trying to think when he did, he knew that he had to do something he was edgy, and he couldn’t sit still. He felt like a teenager going on a first date again. He smiled he liked Cindy, he liked her a lot but she was way out of his league, too young and way too pretty, he wondered what her boyfriend must think that she is going out with one of her clients.

A pity date, that’s what this was he thought to himself but even if it was he was going to enjoy it.

He looked at his watch for what must have been the thousandth time and it ticking by so slowly, it wasn’t quite seven and he agonised over whether she would turn up or not, he wouldn’t blame her if she did but he knew that she wasn’t the type of person to stand him up and after all, she asked him out. He looked at his watch again.

She was running late, she hated running late and she knew that if she was even a minute late Peter would begin to fret and quite possibly pike out, she really wanted him to begin enjoying life, what was the point of living if you didn’t enjoy it, most especially when you had the capacity to do so as Peter did, it was only his shame and embarrassment that held him back.

Pulling her car over she decided to call him ahead to let him know that she was running late.

“Hi Peter its Cindy”

She’s cancelling he thought and his heart felt like concrete, he tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice. “Hi”

She heard it even though he tried to hide it “I’m running a little late so I just thought I would let you know I’ll see you soon.”

“Oh you don’t….”

“I have to go Peter or I’ll be even later I’ll be there shortly.”

She hung up and stared at the phone he was going to pike out, she was glad she didn’t give him the chance. She turned off the hazard lights of her car and pulled back onto the road, she would be around ten minutes late she mused.

He put the phone back on the hook and wished that she would have given him the chance to cancel now she was on her way, he shouldn’t have accepted, people would stare he knew that, ‘what’s the pretty young girl doing with him?’

Deciding to pass the time he went to his computer and began playing some computer games, she didn’t say how late she was going to be, he looked at his watch again, five minutes, he decided to switch the computer off in case she arrived, it was only a matter of time now.

He looked through the curtains it was dark out, he was thankful that it was, that way he wouldn’t have children or neighbours jeering at him. He looked at his watch again, he was feeling sick and wondered why he was putting himself through it all, it was after all a cup of coffee in a café with his therapist, but it hung that they wouldn’t be client and therapist, that they would be two people, man and woman in a public setting.

He mopped his brow with his handkerchief that he kept in his pocket and hoped that for the rest of the evening it would be the last.

A glint of lights shone through the slits of the curtain where they didn’t draw together properly and he peered out of the window. Butterflies flew around in his chest and he smiled, it was her.

He left the kitchen light and the porch light on for his return and exited his small one bedroom unit that he called home, a far cry from his four bedroom two bathroom house that he had once called home, but it was a roof over his head and he was grateful for that at least.

She saw him come out of the house and gave a little wave, he got in the car and he thanked her for the evening out.

“It’s me who should be thanking you, I go to the café every Wednesday and I sit alone and I would much prefer to have company so, thank you.”

He gave her a puzzled look “But you are so pretty you could have anyone, why me?”

She gave a little laugh and blushed “Thank you Peter but I’m really not that pretty and it’s not that easy to find someone nice.” She put her hand on his “As for asking you, I like you, I feel comfortable around you and we have a lot in common, so why wouldn’t I.”

He almost said that it was because he was fat that she shouldn’t, but there was a look in her eye that held him back, so he sat and said nothing.

“Ok well let’s get going.” She put the car in reverse, reversing out the drive and drove to the café which was ten minutes away.

Next Chapter hopefully tomorrow.

Til then

Happy Reading

Valissa

A new short story

Last month I joined a writing group and we were given a project to do, after being given the start of a sentence we were to carry on and keep writing.
One story is in an earlier blog 'a dog named Bob' and today I am posting the other story although I havent finished it.
This is a challenge to me to get my mojo back so the first chapter I have below.

I hope you enjoy

I have called it.

Things change

A very large man was the subject of ridicule from the teenage children who walked passed his house every day. The taunts came thick and fast and he doubted that they knew how much their taunts caused pain in his heart.
It was hard to hear it, hard to hear the truth but even harder when it got slammed home with such viciousness, it didn’t matter if he was inside the house or not, or even if he was not at his home at all, the kids still threw their verbal taunts at him.

They would laugh and carry on and keep on walking and he knew that within one minute of hurling their taunts that they would have forgotten all about him, they would be talking about the latest music or sport or whatever it was that teenage children talked about these days.

But for him the matter hurt, and he wouldn’t have forgotten about it, it would take him a good couple of hours to heal the taunts, to block the hurt, he tried not to let it bother him but bother him it did, it hurt.

Sometimes he would cry, the hurt would just get to him and he would just cry and wonder why they had to be so cruel, sometimes he would get so angry at the children that he wanted to go out and hurt them, but he knew that wasn’t the answer and if he did go out the children had larger numbers than himself alone he wouldn’t stand a chance not only that but he would be in trouble with the police.

He hadn’t always been a large man, over the years it had just crept on but since he had the accident and was placed on medication the weight piled on and he blew out like a balloon, sometimes he would look at photos of when he was younger, he was handsome, he had been the best and fairest in his footy team three years running, it had been a great time in his life.

Funny how things change, he looked around his room at the sparse old second hand furniture and wished that he could go back twenty years to when his life was good, he was ashamed to admit it but he took it all for granted, life had been very good, he had a wife, two children, a beautiful home, a great job, he was content, happy and satisfied with himself.

It only took one day to change it, a moment in time to change a life of good with all that life had to offer, to a life that was hard and have nothing and no-one, to find the courage to get out of bed each day was a struggle in itself and to ask the question why it was worth getting out of bed that day?

He found it hard to look for the good in each day, which was what his therapist had asked him to do, each day he needed to find something good in his life. But he found it hard to find good in the kids that taunted him each day.

Most times the only good in his life was the therapist herself, she was kind and pretty to look at and if he had of been younger and not so disabled he would ask her out on a date, but who would want to date an old fat man.

He looked at the walking frame he was supposed to use when walking it was such a pain in the arse he hated using it and around the home he would use it but when he had to go out he needed it and it was embarrassing this was something only old women used not a fifty something man.

He wanted one of those scooters to buzz around on but they were expensive and he tried for aid but his disability was deemed not bad enough for a scooter to be granted to him.

Cindy his therapist had suggested several times that he should give swimming a go as part of his therapy session but he balked at it each and every time, the thought of going to the pool terrified the living daylights out of him and that hurt too because he used to love swimming and going to the pool, that of course was before he became obese, morbidly obese were the doctors words, in fact he said that if there was a category after morbidly obese he would fit into it. He wondered if the doctor knew how humiliating he felt, perhaps the doctor was trying to shame him into losing weight, it didn’t work it only made him feel more miserable and he tried not to, but he turned to food for comfort.

Today Cindy was coming and he always enjoyed the days she came, she was so sunny everything brightened the moment she stepped into the door.

“Good morning Peter, how are you today?” she said smiling

“Good morning Miss sunshine I am a lot better now that you are here.”

Cindy laughed “Oh Peter, you do have a way with words” she put her bags down two of them and went back out to the car for her mat.

He hated the mat, floor exercises. It meant that he had to get down on the floor to do the exercises and it took effort to get down without looking like an elephant and a while to get up without looking like a beached whale rolling around.

“Ok let’s get started.”

For the next hour the two did exercises with Cindy leading the way and coaxing and coaching, she enjoyed working with Peter he was such a gentle man, and very kind. She had seen the photos around his dilapidated home and she could see that once upon a time he had been quite a good looking man and had a very beautiful family.

She didn’t know the reason that some people came to her, only that they had come to her and it was usually through the centrelink program to help get them off disability. She had been working with Peter for a few years now and she wasn’t getting very far with his rehabilitation and she thought that it had a more serious note to his disability than just the physical side to it, but she wasn’t able to speak with anyone regarding his progress or speak to his doctor, this was probably the most frustrating part of her job that she couldn’t do it effectively as she would like. Sometimes in order to heal, the healing needed to come from several sides. And Peter needed extra help.

Over the time she had come to care for Peter he was funny, smart, charming they had a lot in common and she liked him, a lot and probably a bit too much for a professional to be liking her client.

He wasn’t that much older than her, only nine years and she knew he thought she was younger, a lot of people did, she was glad that she was able to maintain a youthful image without enhancements or cosmetic interference, it was all down to healthy eating, regular exercise and good genes.

As she was packing up, she saw the light that had been shining in him snuff out, her heart tore that he was so lonely, he was such a kind man.

“What are you doing tonight?” she asked she didn’t know why she asked and she knew where she was going with it and it was against all of her working principal but she just had to ask, she wanted to ask.

“Sitting in front of the television watching bad shows. Why?”

“Well there is this really nice band playing at a cute little café that I regularly frequent and it would be nice to have a companion”

She wants me as a companion he thought and his heart began beating faster and he blushed. He didn’t have anything to wear apart from track pants and old t-shirts with holes in them.

“You don’t want me tagging along.”

“Of course I do that’s why I asked.”

She noted his unease and her heart went out to him “Come on please I would really love for you to hear this band I think you would like them.”

He hung his head in shame “I don’t have anything to wear.’ he admitted
She smiled in sympathy she knew how he felt “Its ok, what you’re wearing now would be fine, I’ll pick you up at seven.”
He looked down at his daggy track pants and faded blue t-shirt that was half soaked in sweat, she couldn’t possibly be serious he hesitated “if you’re sure.”

“Never surer, I’ll see you later Peter”

As she said her goodbye she noted the glint in his eye, his spark was coming back and she smiled.


Chapter 2 to be posted (hopefully) tomorrow.


til next time

Happy Reading
Valissa

Receiving Mail

Today in the mail I received a lovely thank you letter, and then when I went to my email account I received another thank you email, it made me feel all warm and gooey inside.

One was from a library that I donated a book to as they lost some books in a natural disaster and they thanked me for my generosity and kind heart and the other was from a lady (Sonia ~ thank you) who had read my book and loved it wanting to know when the next one is coming out.

I haven't been able to wipe the smile from my face all morning.

I love writing and I enjoy making up stories but hearing that other people too enjoy it, makes writing all the more worthwhile.

SO THANK YOU EVERYONE!

Til next time

Happy Reading

Valissa

One day into the next

I can't believe we are up to Thursday already.

It seems that this week has gone so fast and I wonder where it has gone. As I look back over the week I wonder what I have done, I know that I have been busy, but with what???

I haven't written much, maybe a sentence and I haven't read anything this week, I haven't even so much as opened a front cover, so as I sit and ponder what I did this week it reminded me of something that I have heard from a few inspirational speakers that I have seen over the years.

Fill your life with high quality stuff.

Those of course weren't the exact words and the words differ from person to person.

But the meaning is there and it is the same.

If you don't fill up your time with high quality things it will be filled with low quality things.

For instance if I want to write for the day but I don't put the effort into writing my day will be taken up with other things such as cleaning the toilet.

Now this for some people may be an important thing to do and while I agree to a certain point it is, it is not how I wanted to spend my day, I wanted to write but I filled my time with other less meaningful tasks.

I have heard that the same principal applies to other areas in your life, your house, your garden, your mind and etcetera. If you don't fill your garden with flowers it will be filled with weeds, if you don't fill your mind with knowledge what is it filled with. So what do you want to fill your life and mind with??

I suppose the point that I am trying to make to myself is that I need to put a lot more effort in what I want out of my day, my week, my life.

I have also heard that those who create a wish list or a to do list achieve and experience more.

Something to ponder......

I wonder what is going to be on my list.... What's on yours????

Til next time

Happy Reading

Valissa

Believe

Last week on impulse I bought a trinket and I'm not usually into buying trinkets it is a wood carving of the word "Believe" and I put it on the side table in my dining room.

I'm not sure why I bought it or what possessed me to buy it but the message is simple.

Believe

Then today I was looking through the inspirational quotes on google and this was the first thing I saw.

I think someone is trying to tell me something.

I hope that you all have something to believe in.

Til next time

Happy Reading
Valissa